Table of content
Fun
Fun
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Bookworm
http://www.romulus2.com/ubb/Forum12/HTML/000071.html
19-04-2000 07:11 AM
An encyclopedia sits in a line on a single shelf.
It consists of 12 volumes, each of 2,500 pages.
A bookworm eats through the first to last page inclusive (it eats through the first and last page) in a straight line.
Not including covers, how many pages does it eat through?
19-04-2000 07:15 AM
We've set up a team of extremely cleverness and competence.
19-04-2000 07:30 AM
Contract officer states there is no political nor sexual offense in the offered task.
19-04-2000 07:31 AM
Concurrent working blamestorming team put the blame on the Chief Mathematical engineer to solve the problem.
19-04-2000 07:33 AM
Procurement Manager took action to get early supplies from copy paper supplier to simulate the problem.
19-04-2000 07:35 AM
Integration Manager took action for setting up an appropriate simulation facility.
19-04-2000 07:37 AM
Test Manager took action to write the corresponding Test-Plan.
19-04-2000 07:39 AM
Public Relations Manager took action to clarify no conflicts related to GreenPeace matters concerning the subterrestrial lifeform. An optional additional offer for reforestation shall be kept in background if face-to-face negotiations are going to fail.
19-04-2000 07:41 AM
Legal affairs Manager took action to verify no copyrights conflicts with producers of encyclopedias. Also took action to verify any conflicts with European Commission Regulations. He claimed a big schedule impact on this subject.
19-04-2000 07:43 AM
Project Control Manager took action to setup a critical path analysis and to draw a PertChart.
19-04-2000 08:55 AM
Discussion about, who's going to be the Project Manager have been aborted.
19-04-2000 08:56 AM
Procurement Manager states, the extra ordered copy paper lorry is on the way to our premises.
19-04-2000 08:56 AM
Heavy backstroke encountered, the Chief Mathematical engineer isn't in house, and couldn't be reached by cellular phone.
19-04-2000 08:57 AM
The blame was tranferred directly to the IT-Manager, who complained already all his capacities are locked up with the sudden increase of Mail-services lockups arising mainly from European Community organisations as well as conservationist associations. He doubts a massive Heck-attack to the company.
However he accepted to find anyone of his ressources could cope with the problem by a spreadsheet-solution.
19-04-2000 09:00 AM
The union representative appeared on the scene and insisted on 15min breakfast period according to valid legal regulations.
19-04-2000 09:15 AM
The upper management left notice, that the team was remedied and the Deputy Mathematical Assistant engineer was raised to the post as Senior System Engineer(SSE) to this project.
19-04-2000 09:16 AM
The SSE called for an emergency staff meeting to clarify the baseline.
19-04-2000 09:30 AM
Project Control Manager stated the critical path is on the supply chain manangement as no other technical progress input data is available. This raised noisy complaints by the Procurement Manager who stated that the lorry with all the copy paper will arive at 11:00, Receiving Inspection will be passed at 11:15, material bills are processed at 11:30, availability at the testsite will be around 11:45.
19-04-2000 09:45 AM
Integration Manager reports another backstroke, in that they weren't able to find 12 empty folders to cope a proper simulation. Anyhow there is no folder in the market to hold 2500 pages. Test Manager states that he can't continue working under these inappropriate environmental conditions. Big arguments were ongoing.
19-04-2000 10:15 AM
Procurement Manager took action for folder supplies.
19-04-2000 10:16 AM
SSE nominated an Analyst to draw up the technical problem
19-04-2000 10:17 AM
IT-Manager got action to nominate an Application Programmer until 11:00
19-04-2000 10:18 AM
Acting minutes writing secretary asks: Why not to substitute the 2500 pages of a book by 3 pages, a Start-page, a Dummy-page and a Last-page. The folders don't count and can be represented by a separator sheet.
19-04-2000 10:19 AM
Silence
19-04-2000 10:20 AM
Analyst, Integration Manager and Test Manager took action to draw up a feasibility study upon 11:30.
19-04-2000 10:21 AM
Procurement Manager took action to assess cancellation fees for already placed orders.
19-04-2000 10:21 AM
SSE took himself action to provide a specification with all constrained maximization upon 11:15.
19-04-2000 10:22 AM
Project Control Manager hurried off, to feed his computer with the new data.
19-04-2000 10:23 AM
Staff meeting vanished away
19-04-2000 11:02 AM
Application Programmer came into SSE-office and asked:"What's up", he got thrown out by the secretary.
19-04-2000 11:11 AM
SSE called for Preliminary Design Review (PDR)
19-04-2000 11:12 AM
Analyst, Integration Manager and Test Manager denied participation as they've been not yet ready with the feasibility, how to do already a PDR. Reply from SSE states: That's normal it's a SW-problem, they don't need an Architectual Design Document, they just program, they even write the specs after the product is finished.
19-04-2000 11:14 AM
Conclusive decision was made, not to hold a PDR in favour of a Critical Design Review (CDR) at later time. Input to Project Control Manager was given.
19-04-2000 11:14:30 AM
Call from Receiving Inspection: "The paper is here, where shall we supply to?". Answer: "Hang on"
19-04-2000 11:15 AM
Project Control Manager asks if the spec is on schedule. He got thrown out.
19-04-2000 11:16 AM
Procurement Manager presents a bill for copy paper with the remark: "Too late". He got thrown out.
19-04-2000 11:16:30 AM
Application Programmer asks:"What shall I do than?" Answer: "You stay here now"
19-04-2000 11:17 AM
Public Relations Manager states: "Negotiations with GreenPeace were hard, but finally we...". He got thrown out.
19-04-2000 11:18 AM
The Application Programmer got the action to have a quick look over the unaccomplished spec for constraining interfaces.
19-04-2000 11:19 AM
Secretary to SSE:"Sir, I think I have the....." Interrupted by incoming feasibility tiger team:"IT'S FEASIBLE, we have a BreadBoardModel"
19-04-2000 11:19:30 AM
Application Programmer states:"We have a generic problem with the first and the last book, the design of the program can not be started upon a physical test of that matter, where I'm not expert for, it's hardware!"
19-04-2000 11:20 AM
Feasibility tiger team got action to solve this ASAP.
19-04-2000 11:21 AM
Secretary to SSE:"Sir, I think I have ....." Interrupted by Legal affairs Manager: "The European Community Commission has granted no conflicts on this matter"
19-04-2000 11:22 AM
Secretary to SSE:"Sir, I think I ....." Interrupted by call from Receiving Inspection: "What shall we do with this damned pile of paper now..eh?" She simply hung up
19-04-2000 11:22:30 AM
Secretary to SSE:"Sir, I think ....." Interrupted by Application Programmer:"I've beta spreadsheet setup, which goes like this: There is an array of constants, where a1=book1, a2=book2, a3=book4 ...blah blah blah, where b1=2500, b2=2500....blah blah blah. Then we put up a TBD formular in C1 and C25 where we assume all others will be summarized by VLOOKUP function...blah, blah.... blah" SSE:"Too overbloated, we need a user friendly surface not such cryptic stuff and you've forgotton completely the feasibility approach!"
19-04-2000 11:24 AM
Secretary shouts to SSE:"The result is 25002!...........", SSE:"Why that?" Secretary:"Easy, a book in the shelf has the first page on the right side and the last page on the left side, so it eats up from the starting and ending book only 1 page of each where it goes through 10 of them completely."
19-04-2000 11:25 AM
Silence
19-04-2000 11:26 AM
SSE:"Can we post the result?". Secretary:"No, the servers are locked up."
19-04-2000 11:29 AM
SSS:"We need a crisis squad, get all people over here for 12:00, no lunchbreak , I'll inform the upper management, and you try continously to post it." To the Application Programmer:"Get your boss's arse over here"
19-04-2000 11:45 AM
IT-Manager:"We are under attack of a huge amount of incoming E-mails dealing with a bunch of cryptic stuff like legal acronyms and lawers language, and we are bombed with enormous encyclopedias attachments to advertising mails. This is a new form of terror on the web, I've no idea how to stop this." Went off to try something else.
19-04-2000 12:00 High Noon
Crisis squad meeting: all records have been deleted from file upon upper management decision due to offending argumentation of all involved parties. No consequences for the personnel records where agreed by management.
19-04-2000 12:22 PM
Legal affairs Manager calls: "The encyclopedias producers confirm no subject to approval"
19-04-2000 12:23 PM
IT-Manager calls:"The server is up again." ............SSE:"Post the damn thing:"
19-04-2000 12:24 PM
25002
19-04-2000 04:53 PM
Response from the customer: Smart Arse!
19-04-2000 04:55 PM
We've filed this in our tremendous knowledge data base for later generations gaining experience from these records.
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Buzzword Bingo
Hanging around at a presentation or following some educational training and don't understand a damn word?
Gain revenge by playing "buzzword bingo", ticking off meaningless phrases on a card until someone cries "Bullshit" achieving a score of five hits on his card. Here some examples for your cards:
Bleeding edge: beyond the cutting edge
Greenwash: environmentally responsible company propaganda
Herding cats: management jargon to describe something difficult or impossible to achieve
Hurry sickness: caused by excessive work-related concerns.
Low hanging fruit: the easiest targets, people on the brink of doing something
Mindshare: consumer awareness of product
E-tailing: Internet retailing
Thinking Outside the Box: forget what you know
MBWA: management by walking about
MBWAWP: management by walking about without purpose
Analysis paralysis: caused by too much information
Censorware: used to screen Internet sites
Co-branding: collaborative marketing of two or more brands
Co-opetition: co-operation between competitors, especially in the computer industry
Flexecutive: multi-tasking executive
Info-dump: indigestibly large amount of information
Infoholic: person addicted to acquiring information
Off-topic: not relevant
Portfolio career: composed of successive short-term contracts
Presenteeism: reporting for work even when sick, for fear of losing one's job
Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."
Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
Cuisine readiness situation is reaching maturity: dinner is ready
A 3rd-party oriental self-selection mobile-catering scenario: Chinese take away
Helicopter view: Summary
Talk offline: Discuss it after the meeting
Heavy site: Website claiming to get many hits
Drool-proof: Technical advice catering for idiots, as in the official manual that suggests "do not expose your Apple laserwriter to open fire or flame"
Blue-sky ideas: Wild or ambitious proposals
Get into bed with: Be more familiar on a professional level
Face time: Non-electronic discussion
Capture: Gather more information
Orderly roll-out: Unbearably slow phasing-in of a technological process
Strategic fit: A perfect match, or hand-in-glove with
Who owns this?: Which sucker is going to do the work?
Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group
Chips and Salsa: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software
Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired
Switch - When management changes its mind.
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Lions and Tigers
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.
He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger."
"Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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Business
Posted by different members of the HOST-Club forum
1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.
7. Plagiarism saves time.
8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.
9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
10. TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself.
11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
13. We waste time, so you don't have to.
14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
19. Succeed in spite of management.
20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed, or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops over everything and then leaves.
Marcus Place Manager: Claps the hands, all pidgeons fly up, makinging a lot of s***, turning a few loops and settle down as before.
Champignon Manager: Keeps you in the dark, puts a lot of s*** on your head, cuts you of when you head up to far.
Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
CLM: Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.(Also known as CLB - Career Limiting Behavior)
Adminisphere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Dilberted: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Assmosis:The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.
Foot Printing: The process to tatoo the personal ID-Number on people which stick always in the bosses a*** (how else to identify)
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Internet
You know you are an internet addict when...
1.You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading".
2.Your bookmark file takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
3.Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in them.
4.Your daydreaming is resumed to getting a faster Internet connection: DSL, T1, T3...
5.You turn off your modem with an awful empty feeling... like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
6.You start introducing yourself as "Jim B at WhyNet dot com".
7.You begin every conversation with "I have read on the net that...".
8.You replace your answering machine outgoing message with "Please leave your e-mail, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible".
9.Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new www site address in print or on TV.
10.You step out of your room, realize your parents have moved out and you do not have a clue when that happened.
11.You turn on the intercom whenever leaving your room so you can hear when you get new e-mail.
12.All your friends have an &quo "@" in their names.
13.When looking at a page full of someone else's links they are all already highlighted in purple.
14.Your dog has its own web site (and so does your 3 months old baby).
15.You cannot call your mother... she does not have a modem.
16.You check your e-mail. It says "No new messages". So you check it again... and again...
17.Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
18.You code your work assignment in HTML and give your boss the URL.
19.You don't know the sex of your three best friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you've never asked.
20.You remember all your Internet passwords but not your wife's birthday.
21.You name your pets using initials and acronyms.
22.You wake up at 3 AM to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
23.You tell your kids they can't use the computer because "daddy's got work to do" but you don't even have a job.
24.You have more toys than all your kids together.
25.You buy a "Captain Kirk" chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
26.You get a body tattoo that says "This body best viewed with NetScape 2.02 or higher".
27.You never have to deal with busy signals when calling you ISP because you never log off.
28.You ask the plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet seat.
29.You list all your ISP/ICQ user IDs as nicknames on your resume.
30.You send an AOL trial membership as birthday gift to your friend who just moved out of state.
31.You look for a "Shut down" screen menu to turn off your TV.
32.You pick up the phone to talk to your mom and all you hear is static-like, crackling sounds.
33.You got a second phone line and then you tell your friends to call your "voice mail" number.
34.You call AOL's 800 number to ask for another promo floppy and use it to backup your "vital downloads".
35.You order your pizza at www.pizzahut.com.
36.You program your computer to call your pager when new e-mail arrives.
37.You log on to www.grolier.com to read the definition of every new term.
38.You order "computer-specific" eyeglasses.
39.You haven't found a tech support representative who can answer any of your questions.
40.Your IQ number is larger than your weight.
41.Your wristwatch has more buttons than your telephone.
42.You keep asking yourself why they never let you choose the music at dancing parties.
43.You try to pick up a girl at the bar by asking for her e-mail address.
44.Your pickup line ends with "can we meet again... online?"
45.The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.
46.You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
47.You are convinced web surfing is better than sex.
48.You buy your fiancee's engagement ring online.
49.You have "met" your wife online.
50.Your wife (for the 99th time): "Are you coming to bed tonight?" You: "Just a minute honey, I gotta finish downloading this last file."
51.Your wife draped a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
52.Your wife has to send you e-mail to call you to dinner.
53.You never miss an online chat appointment.
54.You keep a busy schedule: - 1:00pm = check e-mail - 2:00pm = business meeting downtown - 3:00pm = check e-mail - 4:00pm = call mom - 5:00pm = check e-mail - 6:00pm = pick up Jimmy Junior from karate school - 7:00pm = check e-mail
- 8:00pm = get the groceries - 9:00pm = check e-mail...
55.Your motto is "If you can't find it on the net it doesn't exist!"
56.Your favorite t-shirt says "Once a Netizen, 4 ever a Netizen!"
57.Your favorite cigarettes are Koolnet.
58.Your favorite morning paper section reads "Computing adds".
59.Your favorite TV show is Internet News.
60.Your favorite restaurant is the closest cyber cafe.
61.Your favorite expression is BTW (By The Way).
62.Your favorite famous person is Bill Gates.
63.Your favorite cartoon character is "Jimmy The Nerd".
64.Your favorite magazine is "The Net Surfer".
65.Webopaedia is your bible.
66.You created a new home page to tell the world that "I'm a computing professional and hold a junior position at the University of North Pole, the computing research department".
67.You hate Microsoft.
68.You are a Netscape fan.
69.Your computer keeps crashing... and crashing... and crashing... but you still insist on testing every new beta software ever written.
70.You consider that the "blue screen of death" is the worst tragedy human kind ever experienced.
71.You finally figured out the ultimate in courtesy greeting: the "three-finger-salute" (Ctrl-Alt-Del).
72.You subscribe to every new "internet comunity" and reserve more free web space for your "expanding" home site.
73.Online privacy is your main concern.
74.You send flaming e-mail to everybody who "tortures" your favorite cartoon character at their web site.
75.The hair on your back stands up whenever you hear "This new technology will boost Internet speed".
76.You consider that someone who doesn't have an ICQ ID number is not a normal person.
77.Your monitor is covered with zillion handy sticky notes with all your online passwords.
78.You keep having this weird dream that you are strapped on to your toilet seat, eat and drink through a permanent intravenous catheter, and surf the net, all at the same time.
79.You donate all your underwear to the Goodwill 'cause you need the drawers for storing disks of downloaded files.
80.You gotta have that new computer based in-house alarm system you've seen advertised on the net.
81.Your living room main spot is taken by your computer "corner".
82.You use your computer to update your monthly checkbook and credit cards balance.
83.You do your taxes online.
84.You do all your research on the Internet.
85.You ask your cable company to send you the online version of the TV schedule.
86.You look for a phonebook with an e-mail address dedicated column.
87.You have replaced Microsoft Notepad with Netscape Navigator.
88.You think that everybody who doesn't know the meaning of RAM, CPU or BIOS is an ignorant.
89.You really hate people with the lastest computer hardware.
90.You paid more for your laptop than for your car.
91.You send your new home site URL to all your friends and family and ask them to make it their browser default home page.
92.You were part of the first line at your local computer store to get Windows 98 the day it was released.
93.You hate web sites that don't have a "talk-back button".
94.The coolest thing you've ever seen is a Java applet.
95.You're still on the look for the coolest animated gif to plaster all over your home page.
96.You can't sleep until your home page gets the "Cool web site of the week" award.
97.You are the newly elected president of the "Web Designers' Club".
98.You subscribe to every new Internet "virtual society".
99.Your coffee mug reads "You're looking at a net work-o-holic, baby".
100.You stop buying the newspaper and start reading the news at www.cnn.com.
101.You never miss your favorite web browser latest upgrade release.
102.You praise "Stay Connected" as the best software ever written.
103.You see yourself as an experienced computer/internet user.
104.You send your home site URL to all popular web search engines once a month.
105.Whenever you see an "Under construction" sign you think of a lousy web site.
106.You wake up every morning wondering if you replied to all your e-mail before you went to bed.
107.You keep a flashlite next to your computer so you can check your e-mail/surf in the middle of the nite without turning on the lites.
108.You actually surf all 740,173 hits Yahoo returns in response to your search.
109.You spend all afternoon reading the Cache 'cause your ISP is down.
110.You always think of checking your e-mail during TV commercials.
111.You can never watch an entire TV show without having your computer scream "You've got mail!".
112.You catch yourself saying LOL, BRB, OMG...
113.Your CC: list is longer than the actual content of your e-mail message.
114.You're getting hungry... but "Wait... [you think] this pizza is only three days old... I won't have to leave my computer yet!"
115.You always ask for the closest seat to a phone line jack when you book a plane ticket.
116.When asked what you did for fun on your Tahiti cruise, you answer "Checking e-mail on my new laptop, hooked up to their cool satellite dish".
117.You think your ergonomically designed computer chair is the most vital piece of furniture in your house.
118.When your modem breaks, you dial your ISP and start negotiating with their modem, making weird noises using your voice.
119.You brag about your new computer to all your friends calling it "my new baby".
120.You start confusing cyber-space with outer-space.
121.The line between your real life and your cyber life becomes blurrier and blurrier.
122.You start talking to your computer as you would to your favorite pet.
123.You are proud when people call you a "computer geek".
124.You have read this entire page and you think it's funnier than David Letterman's "Top Ten signs You're Spending Too Much Time on AOL"...
125.You keep repeating to yourself "I am NOT an internet addict, I am NOT an internet addict..."
Original source unknown, this one copied from HOST-Club, but I've seen it already somewhere else.
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ProjectMgmt
Posted by DoctorDoom in the Host-Club forum
SUBJ: Project Management Contributed to HumourNet by Doug LaVerne
GENESIS Release 2.5
In the Beginning the Project Manager created the Programming Staff.
The Programming Staff was without form and structure.
And the Project Manager said, "Let there be Organization;"
And there was Organization.
And the Project Manager saw that Organization was good;
And the Project Manager separated the workers from the supervisors, and he called the Supervisors "Management," and he called the workers "Exempt."
And the Project Manager said, "Let there be a mission in the midst of the Organization, and let it separate the workers, one from another."
And the Project Manager created the mission and he called it "The System."
And the Project Manager separated those who were to benefit from The System from those who were to build it.
And he called the former "Users," and he called the latter "Programmers."
And the Project Manager said, "Let all the Programmers in the Organization be gathered together into one place, and let a Chief Programmer be brought up to lead them."
And it was so.
And the Project Manager saw that he was competent.
And the Project Manager said unto the Chief Programmer, "Create for me a schedule, so that I may look upon the schedule and know the Due Date."
And the Chief Programmer went among his staff and consulted with them.
And the staff was divided into two parts, one part called "Analysts" and the other part called "Application Programmers."
And the Analysts went back to their desks and estimated, as was their custom.
And it came to pass that each Analyst brought his estimate to the Chief Programmer, whereupon he collected them, summarized them, and drew a PERT CHART.
And the Chief Programmer went unto the Project Manager and presented unto him the estimate saying, "It shall take ten months."
And the Project Manager was not pleased and said, "I have brought you up from the depths of Staff; you have not grasped the "Big Picture."
And the Project Manager hired consultants and authorized overtime, and he said to the Chief Programmer, "Behold, see all that I have done! The Due Date will be in FIVE months!"
The Chief Programmer was much impressed and went from before the Project Manager to implement The System.
And the Chief Programmer sent his Analysts to the Users and said, "Let Specifications be written!"
And there were meetings, and lunches, and telephone calls, And the Specifications were written,
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, one month.
And the Chief Programmer examined the Specifications and saw that they were too ambitious.
And he separated the mandatory features from the optional features;
And he called the mandatory features "Requirements," and he called the optional features "Deferred," and the Users called him names.
And the Chief Programmer gave the Specifications to the Analysts and said, "Let the Requirements be analyzed and let the files be designed."
And it was so.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the Software Houses put forth their Salesmen, and let us have a Data Management System."
And it was so.
The Software Houses brought forth all manner of Salesmen who presented their packages, and claimed wondrous things for them, each according to his own file structure.
And it came to pass that a Data Management System was selected;
And the Chief Programmer saw that it was good.
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a second month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the System be divided into parts, and let each part become a Module. And let programming teams be formed and let each be assigned to write a Module."
And it was so.
And the Chief Programmer created the programming teams with two levels, a greater and a lesser; and he called the greater the "Senior Programmers" and he called the lesser the "Junior Programmers."
And he gave the greater dominion over the lesser.
And the Chief Programmer saw it was good.
And the Senior Programmers saw it was good.
And the Junior Programmers saw it differently.
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a third month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the programming be started and let much overtime be consumed, for there is but two months left."
And the Programmers, both the greater and the lesser, were much afraid and they strove to please the Chief Programmer.
And they flowcharted, and they coded, each in his own fashion.
And the Chief Programmer looked upon the work and liked it not.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be a Standard;"
And there was a Standard.
And the Programmers looked upon the Standard and liked it not.
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a fourth month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be Progress Reports, so we can monitor and control;"
And there were Progress Reports.
And the Chief Programmer looked upon the Progress Reports and saw that the Due Date was not to be met.
And the Chief Programmer arose, bought a suit, shaved his beard and went unto the Project Manager, and groveled.
And the Chief Programmer pointed his fingers, and caused Blame to issue forth upon all manner of creatures who sold Hardware and Software.
And the Chief Programmer asked for an Extension.
And the Project Manager was exceedingly angry, and cast doubts upon the Chief Programmer's ancestry, and did utter a multitude of threats. But it came to pass that an Extension was granted;
And the Chief Programmer took the extension back to the programming teams and there was much rejoicing.
And the programming of the Modules was completed.
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, the fifth month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the Modules be integrated, one with another, so that System Testing may begin."
And it was so.
Two by two, the Modules were integrated, one with another.
And great difficulties were experienced, and many hours of overtime were used, and many cups of coffee were consumed.
And it came to pass that System Testing was completed.
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, the sixth month.
Then the Chief Programmer did go unto the Project Manager, and said, "Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which will come to all Users; for on this day The System is completed."
And suddenly there was with them a multitude of Users praising the Chief Programmer saying, "Glory be to The System in the highest, but can you make this one small change?"
-
Internet Acronyms
#:-) From a person with matted hair
&&&& Pretzels
&:-) From a person with curly hair
()x() Ms. Dos with "Cross Your Heart" Bra
( } User is Alfred Hitchcock.
(!) tight a**
(%> pizza
(( )):** Hugs and Kisses
(((((name)))) Hug (cyber hug)
(.)(.) Ms. Dos
(: ): Bandaid
(y) Mr.Dos
(O--< A fishy message...
(_!_) regular a**
(_!__) lop-sided a**
(__!__) a fat a**
(_$_) Money coming out of his a**
(_) Mug (coffee, beer)
(_*_) sore a**
(_._) flat a**
(_13_) unlucky a**
(_?_) Dumb A**
(_E=mc2_) a smart a**
(_o^o_) wise a**
(_o^^o_) a very wise a**
(_o_) an a** that's been around
(_O_) an a** that's been around even more
(_x_) kiss my a**
(_X_) leave my a** alone
(_zzz_) tired a**
(_\_)(_|_)(_/_) dancing a** off
(_^_) bubble a**
(_@_)A**hole
) Can't Stop Talking
**** Popcorn
,,l, the finger
-- Frown
...---... S.O.S.
2B|^2B Message about Shakespeare
2L8 Too Late
404 I have no clue (error message 404, address not found)
8-) Smile; also used to denote wide-eyed look or wearing glasses
:' Crying
:'-( Crying Sadly
:'-) Crying with Joy
:*) Clowning
:*) Drunk
:-! Smoker
:-# Message concerning something that shouldn't have been said...
:-$ Message indicating person is ill...
:-& Tongue Tied
:-& Message indicating person is angry...
:-( Sad or angry face
:-(=) Message from a person with big teeth.
:-) Smile
:-) :> Smiling, happy faces; don't take me too seriously
:-) 8 Dolly Parton
:-* Kiss
:-------) Viagra smile
:-{) Moustache
:-6 Exhausted, Wiped Out
:-9 Delicious, Yummy
:-> Devilish
:-@Screaming
:-c Bummed Out
:-D Wider happy face (or mouth open too much)
:-I Indifferent
:-o "Oh, nooooooo!" (a la Mr. Bill)
:-O Mouth Open (Surprised)
:-O Shocked
:-P Tongue stuck out
:-\ Undecided
:-{#} From a person with braces
:-{} Blowing a Kiss
:-| Ambivalent
:-|K- Formal message.
:-4~ drooling
:P Disgusted (sticking out tongue)
:^) From a person with a large nose
:~/ Mixed Up
;-) Wink
;-) ;> Winking happy faces (something said tongue-in-cheek)
;-> Devilish Wink
< G > Grin (add < > for bigger grins)
< H > Hug
< K > Kiss
<:-) Dumb questions
<<{:}} Ice cream
<o> <o> staring
<o>~~ wink
>:-( Angry
>^-^< cats
?€?€ hiding, staring in the dark.
@%&$%&You know what that means...
@:-)From a person with wavy hair
@>--->----A rose.
@[_]~~Mug of HOT Coffee or Tea
@}--{--{--Rose
A/S/L Age/Sex/ Location
AA Alcoholics Anonymous
AAA Any Advice Appreciated
AAAAA Travel club for alcoholics
AAMOF As A Matter Of Fact
ADGR All Donations Gratefully Received
ADN Any Day Now
AFAIAA As Far As I Am Aware
AFAICT As Far As I Can Tell
AFAIK As Far As I Know
AFAIR As Far As I Recall
AFK Away From Keyboard
AGAN As Good As New
AI As If
AIC Ain't It Cool!!!
AIUI As I Understand It
AKA Also Known As
ALOIA A Lot Of It Anyways
AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
ANAWFOS And Now A Word From Our Sponsor
ASAP As Soon As Possible
ASWGAFF Ask Someone Who Gives A Flying F-!
ATM At The Moment
ATS Across The Street
ATTN Attention
AWGTHTGTTA? Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again?
AWHFY Are We Having Fun Yet?
AWOL Absent WithOut Leave
AYT? Are You There?
B-) Smile from a person wearing glasses
B/C Because
B2W Back To Work
B4 Before
B4N Bye for Now
BAK Back At Keyboard
BAMF Bad Assed Mother F-er
BAS Big A** Smile
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
BAY Back At You
BBIAB Be Back in a Bit
BBIAF Be Back in a Few
BBFN Bye Bye For Now
BBL Be Back Later
BBN Bye Bye Now
BBS Be Back Soon
BBS Bulletin Board System
BCNU Be Seein' You
BEG Big Evil Grin
BF Boyfriend
BFD Big F*ing Deal
BFN Bye For Now
BG Big Grin
BIBO Beer In, Beer Out
BIF Basic In Fact
BION Believe It Or Not
BIOYA Blow It Out Your Ass
BIOYIOP Blow It Out Your I/O Port
BOC But Of Course
BOT Back On Topic
BRB Be Right Back
BRS Big Red Switch
BS Bull ****
BSF But Seriously Folks
BTA But Then Again
BTDT Been There, Done That
BTL Better Than Life
BTSOOM Beats The S*** Out Of Me
BTT Back to Top
BTTH Boot To The Head
BTW By The Way
BWG Big Wide Grin
BWL Bursting With Laughter
BYOB Bring Your Own Bottle
BYOH Bat You On the Head
C&G Chuckle and Grin
CAB Cheap Ass Bastard/Bitch
CB Call Back
CFD Call For Discussion
CFV Call For Votes
CIAO Chief Is Approaching Over
CICO Coffee In, Coffee Out
CID Consider It Done
CID Crying In Disgrace
CIO Check It Out
CL Cross Link
CM Call Me
CNP Continued (in my) Next Post
Cof$ Church of Scientology
CP Chat Post(a chat message)
CRAFT Can't Remember A F-ing Thing
CRBT Crying Real Big Tears
CSG Chuckle Snicker Grin
CU See you
CUL8R See You Later
CYA Cover Your A**
CYA See You (Seeya)
CYAIH Cya in hell
CYAL8R See You Later (Seeyalata)
CYM Check Your Mail
CYOA Cover Your Own A**
c[C] cup of coffee
c[T] cup of tea
DAY Dreamed About You
DBL Don't Be Long
DDI Don't Do It
DGUTDJ Don't Give Up The Day Job
DHB Don't Hurry Back
DIIK Damned If I Know
DILLIGAF? Does It Look Like I Give A F-?
DL or D/L Download, transmit to you
DLTBBB Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite
DQM Don't Quote Me
DTM Does That Mean
DTRT Do The Right Thing
DWBH Don't Worry Be Happy
DWISNWID Do What I Say, Not What I Do
DYJHIW Don't You Just Hate It When
EG Evil Grin
EMSG Email Message
EOD End Of Discussion
EOS End of Story
EOT End Of Thread (i.e., don't reply to this message)
ES&D Eat S- and Die
ETLA Extended Three Letter Acronym
F2F Face to Face
FAQ Frequently Asked Questions
FC Fingers Crossed
FDB F***ing Disrespectful Bastard/Bitch
FEIYD ForEver In Your Debt
FISH First In, Still Here
FITB Fill In The Blank_________
FOAF Friend Of A Friend
FOTCL Falling Off The Chair Laughing
FR For Real
FRO F*** right off!
FTBOMH From The Bottom Of My Heart
FTF Face To Face
FTG F*** This/That Guy/Girl
FTL Follow The Link
FUA Frequently Used Acronyms
FUBAR F***'d Up Beyond All Recognition
FUBAR F***-ed Up Beyond All Repair
FUD (Spreading) Fear, Uncertainty, and Disinformation
FWIW For What It's Worth
FY&TSYRIO F*** You And The Sysop You Rode In On
FYA For Your Amusement
FYDITM F*** You Directly In The Mouth
FYEO For Your Eyes Only
FYI For Your Information
FYM Fix/(F-)Your Mail
G Grin (as in <g> )
G2G Got to Go
GA Go Ahead
GAC Get A Clue
GAFIA Get Away From It All (as in drop out of ILink for a bit)
GAG Get A Grip
GAL Get A Life
GBH Great Big Hug or Grievous Bodily Harm
GD&R Grinning, Ducking & Running
GDYMFAHGTH God Damn You Mother F***ing A** Hole Go to Hell
GF Girlfriend
GFN Gone For Now
GGL Giggle
GH Getting Hard (see GW)
GHM# Give Him/Her My Number
GIGO Garbage In, Garbage Out
GIWIST Gee, I Wish I'd Said That
GIYODS Get It Your Own Damn Self
GLGH Good Luck and Good Hunting
GM Good Move
GMBA Giggling My Butt Off
GMTA Great Minds Think Alike
GOLL Getting/Got One Long List
GR&D Grinning Running And Ducking
GTG Got To Go
GTH Go To Him/Her
GTSY Glad To See Ya
GW Getting Wet (see GH)
GYPO Get Your Pants Off
H&K Hug and Kiss
HABU Have A Better 'Un
HAGN Have A Good Night
HAGU Have A Good 'Un
HAGO Have A Good One
HAND Have A Nice Day
HAS Hip A** Slang
HB Hurry Back or Hug Back
HH Holding Hands
HHIS Hanging Head in Shame
HHOK Ha Ha, Only Kidding
HHOS Ha Ha, Only Serious
HIWTH Hate It When That Happens
HSH Home Sweet Home
HTFSIKG How the F*** Should I Know Girl/Guy??
HTH Hope This Helps
HUB Head Up Butt
HWISTKT How Was I Supposed To Know That
HYU Hook You Up
IA Important Acronym
IAE In Any Event
IANAL I Am Not A Lawyer
IBALD It's Been A Long Day
IBM Inadequate Business Management
IC I See
ICBW I Could Be Wrong
ICOCBW I Could, Of Course, Be Wrong
ICQ I Seek You
ICYDK In Case You Didn't Know
IDK I Don't Know
IDTIW I Don't Think I'm Wrong
IDTT I'll Drink To That!
IFU I F***'d Up
IGP I Gotta Pee
IIDKB If I Didn't Know Better
IILY I Love You
IIRC If I Remember Correctly
IITYWIMIWHTKY If I tell you what it means, I will have to kill you
IITYWIMWYBMAD If I tell you what it means, will you buy me a drink?
IIWY If I Were You
IKWYM I Know What You Mean
ILY I Love You
IM Instant Message
IMAO In My Arrogant Opinion
IMCO In My Considered Opinion
IME In My Experience
IMHO in my honest opinion
IMHO In My Humble Opinion
IMNSHO In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO In My Opinion
IMOBO In My Own Biased Opinion.
INPO In No Particular Order
IOH I'm Outta Here
IOW In Other Words
IPN I'm Posting Naked
IRC Internet Relay Chat
IRL In Real Life
IRMC I Rest My Case
ISC I Stand Corrected
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
ISMW I Shot My Wad
ISTM It Seems To Me
ISWYM I See What You Mean
ITC It's the coolest
ITILY I Think I Love You
ITRW In The Real World
IUD Insert Usual Disclaimers
IWALU I Will Always Love You
IWBNI It Would Be Nice If
IYDM If You Don't Mind
IYFEG Insert Your Favorite Ethnic Group
IYKWIM If You Know What I Mean
IYKWIMAITYD If You Know What I Mean And I Think You Do
IYO In Your Opinion
J/K Just Kidding
JAM Just A Minute
JASE Just Another System Error
JFTR Just For The Record
JFYI Just for your information
JMO Just My Opinion
JOKE Just One Kidding Everyone
JOT Just One Thought
JSNM Just Stark Naked Magic
JTFM Just The Facts, Mister/Madam
JTLYK Just To Let You Know
KISS Keep It Simple and Stupid
KIT Keep In Touch
KMA Kiss My Ass
KMYF Kiss Me You Fool
KOC Kiss On Cheek
KOL Kiss On Lips
KWIM Know What I Mean?
KYPO Keep Your Pants On
L&ML Lies and More Lies
L8R Later
L8R -- G8R Later 'Gater
LAB&TYD Life's A Bitch & Then You Die.
LAP Long Ass Posts/Pictures
LHM Lord Help Me
LHO Laughing Head Off
LHU Lord Help Us
LI Laughing Insanely
LIS Laughing In Silence
LLTA Lots and Lots of Thunderous Applause
LMAO Laughing My A** Off
LMBO Laughing My Butt Off
LMK Let Me Know
LMSO Laughing My Socks Off
LOL Laughing Out Loud
LSHMBB Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHMBH Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts
LSHTTARD Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down
LSHTTARDML Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg
LTNS Long Time No See
LTS Laughing To Self
LY Love Ya
LYWAMH Love You With All My Heart
LZ Loser!
M$ A well-known software company
M/F? Male or Female?
M8 Mate
MEGO My Eyes Glaze Over
MHBFY My Heart Bleeds For You
MD My Dope
MHOTY My Hat's Off To You
MorF Male or Female
MOTAS Member Of The Appropriate Sex
MOTD Message Of The Day
MOTOS Member of the Opposite Sex
MOTSS Members of the Same Sex
MSG Message
MTBF Mean Time Between Failures
MTF my two fingers
MYOB Mind Your Own Business
MYW Makes You Wonder
NA Narcotics Anonymous
NADT Not A Darn Thing
NBD No Big Deal
NBIF No Basis In Fact
NC No Comment
NE Any
NIAMY Not In A Million Years
NFW No F***ing Way
NIFOC Nude In Front Of The Computer
NIICHI Not If I Can Help It
NIMBY Not In My Back Yard
NJTH Not Just Thinking Here
NM Never Mind
NNTA No Need To Answer
NOYB None Of Your Business
NP No Problem
NRN No Reply Necessary
NRP None Real-time Processor
NTOOT Nine Times Out Of Ten
NTW Not To Worry
NTYMI Now That You Mention It
NWIH No Way In Hell
o:-) Angelic
OAO Over And Out
OBTW Oh, By The Way
OIAM One In A Million
OIC Oh, I see
OL Old Lady (significant other)
OM Old Man (significant other)
OMG Oh My God
OOFA One Other F***ing Acronym
OOTB Out of the Box or Out of the Blue
OOTC Obligatory On Topic Comment
OPM Other Peoples Money
OTOH On The Other Hand
OT Off Topic
OTF On The Floor
OTL Out To Lunch
OTP On The Phone
OTT Off The Topic
OTTOMH Off The Top of My Head
OYA On Your Ass
PCYLIHOONL Please Cross Your Legs, I Have Only One Nail Left
PD Public Domain
PDA Public Display of Affection
PDQ Pretty Damn Quick
PDS Please Don't Shoot
PEBCAK Problem Exist Between Chair And Keyboard
PEBKAC Problems Exist Between Keyboard And Chair
PEKUSH Press Every Key Until Something Happens
PIMP Peeing In My Pants
PITA Pain In The A**
PM Private Message
PMFBI Pardon Me For Butting In
PMFJI Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMJI Pardon My Jumping In
PMP Peed My Pants
POAHF Put On A Happy Face
POS Pile/Piece Of S***
POS Point Of Sale
POSSLQ Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters
POTC Peck On The Cheek
POV Point of View
PPL People
PPNE Please Post No Email
PS Post Script
PTMM Please Tell Me More
PU That stinks
PWYP Practice What You Preach
QSL Reply
QSO Conversation
QT Cutie
RE Regarding
REHI Hello Again
RFD Request For Discussion
RHP Read His/Her Post
RIP Requiescat In Pace = Rest In Peace
ROFL Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAPMP ROFL And Peeing My Pants
ROFLMAO ROFL My A** Off
ROFLMAOAY ROFLMAO At You
ROFLMAOWTIME ROFLMAO With Tears In My Eyes
ROFLUTS ROFL Unable to Speak
ROTF Rolling On The Floor
ROTFL Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFLAHMS Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Holding My Side
ROTFLMAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off
ROTFUTS Rolling On The Floor Unable To Speak
RPTS Repost That Stuff
RSN Real Soon Now
RTFM Read The F****** Manual!
RTFMSH Read The F**ing Manual S*** Head
RTM Read The Manual
RU Are You???????
RU4R Are You For Real
RU? Are You?
RUMF? aRe yoU a Male or Female?
RUOK Are You Okay
SARO Smart Ass Reply Only
SAYL Sorry About Your Luck
SBPH Should Be Posted Here
SETE Smiling Ear To Ear
Sh8 ****
SHID Slaps Head In Disgust
SHIT Sure Happy It's Thursday
SIS Smokin Is Smokin
SITD Still in the Dark
SMO Serious Mode On or Safe Mode Only
SMOff Serious Mode Off
SNAFU Situation Normal: All F***- Up
SNERT Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SO Significant Other
SOB Do you really need *me* to explain this one?
SOE Silly/Stupid Operator Error
SOHF Sense Of Humour Failure
SOL S*** Out of Luck
SOMY Sick Of Me Yet?
SOS Same Old S***/Stuff
SOT Short Of Time
SOTMG Short Of Time Must Go
SPAM SPiced hAM. Hormel's canned meat.
SRHI So Rumor Has It
ST-TNG Star Trek, The Next Generation
ST-TOS Star Trek, The Original Series
STB Simply The Best
SW ShareWare
SWAG Scientific Wild Ass Guess
SWAK Sealed With A Kiss
SWAS Scientific Wild A** Guess
SWINGO She Who Must Be Obeyed (The Wife)
SWL Screaming with Laughter
SWMBO She Who Must Be Obeyed
SYL See You Later
SYS See You Soon
SYSADMIN SYStem ADMINistator
SYSOP SYStem OPerator
TA Thanks Again
TA The Acronoym
TAFN That's All For Now
TAL Thanks A Lot
TANJ There Ain't No Justice
TANSTAAFL There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TARFU Things Are Really F'd Up
TAT TurnAround Time
TBIB The Bitch/Bastard Is Back
TC Telephone Call
TCOY Take Care Of Yourself
TDM Too Darn Many
TEOFWAWKI The End of the World As We Know It
TFS Thanks For Sharing
TGIF Thank God Its Friday
TIA Thanks in Advance
TIA Thanks In Advance
TIAFI Tried It And F- It
TIATLG Truly, I Am The Living/Loving God
TIC Tongue in Cheek
TID Thread Is Deteriorating
TILII Tell It Like It Is
TITBTTHSF This Is The Best Thing That Happened So Far
TITC This Is The Crosslink
TLA Three Letter Acronym
TLG The Living God
TMBCU Till My Bowels Cramp Up
TMF To Much Fun
TMTT Too Much To Type
TNT Till Next Time
TNTL Trying Not To Laugh
TNX Thanks
TOY Thinking Of You
TPTB The Powers That Be
TTBOMK To The Best Of My Knowledge
TTFN Ta Ta For Now
TTT Time To Twist
TTUL Talk (or Type) To You Later
TTYL Talk To You Later
TVM Thanks Very Much
TW Two Weeks
TWBAR That Would Be A Riot
TWIS That's What I Said/Stated
TWF That was fun
TX Thanks
TYVM Thank You Very Much
UL or U/L Upload, send to the BBS
unPC unPolitically Correct
VBG Very Big Grin
VC Virtual Community
VGI Very Good Idea
W/O Without
WABOL What A Bunch Of Losers
WAG Wild A** Guess
WB Welcome Back
WBS Write Back Soon
WDTM What Does That Mean
WEG Wicked Evil Grin
WFM Works For Me
WGAS Who gives a S***
WHYD What Have You Done?
WOB Waste Of Bandwidth/Brainpower
WOBTAM Waste Of Both Time And Money
WOFTAM Waste Of Flaming Time and Money
WRT With Regard To
WRUF? Where are you From?
WTF What The F***?
WTG Way To Go
WTH What The Hell?
WTH What/Who The Heck (or sub an 'F' for the 'H')
WTHDTM What The Hell Does That Mean?
WUASTC Wake Up And Smell The Coffee
WUF? Where are you From?
WYGIWYPF What You Get Is What You Pay For
WYMM Will You Marry Me
WYSIWYG What You See Is What You Get
WYWH Wish You Were Here
XHNS eXtra Hot N' Spicy
YA Yet Another
YABA Yet Another Bloody Acronym
YAFIYGI You Asked For It, You Got It
YBS You'll Be Sorry
YDAGWYW You Don't Always Get What You Want
YG Young Gentleman
YGWYPF You Get What You Pay For
YHBW You Had/Have Been Warned
YHM You Have Mail
YKYBHTLW You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When
YKYS You Know Your S***
YL Young Lady
YM Young Man
YMBJ You must be joking
YMMV Your Mileage May Vary.
YOY Why Oh Why
YSWUS Yea, Sure Whatever You Say!
YWSYLS You Win Some You Lose Some
ZIAO Zoning In And Out
\-o Bored
\_/ Glass (drink)
\~/ Full Glass
^ Thumbs Up
^5 High Five
{\o/} angel
{_!_} swishy a**
|-( Late night messages
|-I Asleep
|-O Yawning
|C| Can of Coke
|P| Can of Pepsi
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